Many couples prefer to use their state’s no-fault option, even if they have “grounds” for divorce under state law. This can help them maintain some privacy around their divorce. That’s particularly important for parents. In North Carolina, a couple can get a no-fault divorce after they’ve been separated for at least a year.
Infidelity (adultery) is grounds for divorce in North Carolina. It falls under a larger umbrella of “marital misconduct,” which also includes abandonment and “cruelty or violence.”
Is there any advantage to asserting in a divorce filing that your spouse has been unfaithful?
Alimony
In determining the amount and duration of alimony, one factor a judge can consider is marital misconduct, and specifically “illicit sexual behavior” by either or both spouses.
In fact, starting with a couple’s separation, when granting temporary “postseparation support,” a judge “shall consider marital misconduct by the supporting spouse in deciding whether to award postseparation support and in deciding the amount of postseparation support.”
It should be noted, however, that if the spouse who’s seeking support engaged in adultery, that is to be considered as a factor that could work against them. In fact, the statute regarding alimony states that if the “dependent spouse” engaged in adultery (whether their husband or wife also did or not), that can be grounds for denying them alimony or at least decreasing the amount to which they may have otherwise been entitled.
Child custody
A judge may or may not consider a spouse’s infidelity when determining how much, if any custody they’ll have if the couple has children. A person can certainly be an unfaithful spouse but a good parent. If their infidelity has caused them to neglect their children, the other parent could certainly make that case in seeking primary or sole custody.
Property division
Infidelity generally doesn’t affect judicial decisions around property division. If a spouse has been spending considerable marital assets on those with whom they’re involved, their spouse could seek to get some of those assets back in the divorce.
Negotiating your own agreements
It’s important to note that all the scenarios discussed here involve situations where a judge decides the various agreements. It’s possible you might get more favorable agreements if you negotiate them (with the help of your legal representative) with your soon-to-be ex rather than depending on a judge to decide them.
Sometimes, spouses who have been unfaithful are agreeable to more favorable terms because they feel guilty or simply because they want to end the marriage and move on. By having sound legal guidance, you can make the best decisions for your unique situation.