If you’re a parent and divorce is on the horizon, you’ll likely find that the divorce process can be extremely challenging. You’ll want to shield your child from the details and the negative aspects of it. Meanwhile, you’ll be dealing with their anxiety and uncertainty, and want to reassure them about the future.
There are also a number of practical challenges – particularly if you work outside the home. Even if you and your co-parent developed a parenting schedule (formally or informally) after your separation, that may require modification once you start meeting with divorce attorneys, having court dates and dealing with other matters that take you away from your child – and work.
That can mean having to increase your child’s time at after-school daycare or with the babysitter or family or friends who have been helping since you became a part-time single parent. It may mean modifications to your work schedule, if possible, or arranging to work at home if that’s feasible.
The importance of telling your boss
That’s one reason why it’s typically best to tell your boss about the divorce, even if you don’t want it to be known throughout your workplace. In fact, if you’re planning to tell anyone at work, tell your boss first. Managers can get offended if they have to hear things through the office grapevine, and you need yours on your side.
You don’t need to share details beyond scheduling changes you may need for child care responsibilities and legal matters. It’s also a good time to assure them you’re as committed as ever to your job and want to be flexible so that you’re not inconveniencing anyone.
Temporary orders
If you need to pay for additional third-party childcare during the divorce, it’s wise to work out how you and your co-parent will share the cost. If you don’t already have a temporary child support order, this is a good time to get one (or modify the one you have). Many parents also get a temporary custody order after they separate.
These temporary court orders (as well as a spousal support order if you need one) can help families better structure their lives during what can be a long period between separation and the final divorce decree. They can also provide a good starting point for negotiating the final orders.
Being a working parent going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. Having trusted legal guidance from the beginning can help you navigate this time.