Determining who has custody of a child can be an emotionally exhausting endeavor, and parents often negotiate while stressed or afraid. In North Carolina, courts often make decisions with the child’s best interests in mind. To negotiate effectively, divorcing couples must make sure to avoid common mistakes that can potentially create conflict between them.
Badmouthing the other parent on social media
If one partner speaks poorly about another on social media during custody negotiations, their remarks may serve as evidence of hostility. North Carolina courts may also consider hateful comments as a sign of poor judgment or unwillingness to co-parent.
Courts often favor parents who can facilitate healthy and stable relationships with the other party. The only way to avoid this issue is for a parent to remain civil and keep hostile remarks out of the public eye.
Using a child for leverage
Sometimes divorcing couples might ask children to carry messages for them or ask them to choose sides. This can cause them extreme stress.
Instead of asking a child to play the role of a messenger, divorcing couples should communicate with one another directly. To avoid conflict, they should focus on their children and keep messages short, direct and respectful.
Proposing unrealistic schedules
During custody negotiations, couples might outline schedules that fail to consider each party’s work hours, travel time and school needs. It is important for schedules to be feasible for both parties to avoid creating conflict, potentially leading to further court action.
To work around this problem, parents must communicate and design a schedule together without conflicting times and dates. It is also important to determine clear exchange times, holiday rotations and pickup responsibilities.
Forgetting legal custody
Many couples focus on overnights and neglect to decide which parent should be responsible for making major decisions concerning their child. While it is possible to share responsibility when making decisions, there is no single definition of “joint custody” in North Carolina. Instead, joint custody can include legal custody, physical custody or both.
Addressing this requires both parents to decide who has the authority to make decisions, as well as consent for school changes, medical appointments and other major decisions in a child’s life.
Negotiating without evidence
When divorcing couples negotiate custody terms, they may make accusations against one another or make claims that a child should be in their care because they “spent more time and money taking care of them.” However, without proof, these accusations hold little weight in negotiations.
To address this problem, parents need to keep records that reflect their day-to-day parenting. Bear in mind that this does not mean recording conversations illegally. Instead, they must keep track of documents that prove they take care of their children. This includes receipts for child expenses, witness testimonies, report cards and attendance records.
What should I do if I need legal guidance?
When it comes to custody negotiations in North Carolina, it is essential for parents to focus on the child, not the conflict. However, there may come times when complications arise, and legal guidance may be necessary. If this happens, it may be time for a parent tto consult a divorce attorney who can help them understand complex laws as well as their rights.